What we’re thinking
What do you want?
Before my kids could talk I used to think it would be so much easier when they can say what they want – rather than me seeking to interpret the quizzical look, the tantrum, the occasional headbutt on the floor, or the beaming smile as yoghurt was thrown around the kitchen! When they can talk, won’t life be a lot simpler….
Maybe not! A coaching friend of mine recently challenged me to articulate what I want. I’ve done the same with some of my coaching clients. And it turns out that this is often easier said than done. And in our leadership communication a common challenge revolves around the lack of clarity in what it is we are working towards, and therefore a distinct blurriness in others we have asked to help us get there. It sounds simple: be clear about what you want. But it’s often not. And when the clarity isn’t there, then discomfort, conflict, disillusion can take hold.
So, I’m working on it for me: what do I want? And if I really mean it, then what are the implications. What are the indicators that tell me I’m on the right or wrong track? And what conversations do I need to have to be clear with others around me – at work, at home, at play – so they understand what I want. And can then agree, or disagree or offer an alternative. Those conversations can open new possibilities and opportunities. And it’s often in the small stuff: what do I really want from this meeting, this conversation, this car journey, this holiday, this presentation? That’s my focus. That’s what I’m working towards. That’s what I need to engage others around.
Try it out for three moments in your day today. What do you really want from those moments? What are the implications? And indicators you’re on/off track? Get the focus and see what happens!
In comparison with adulthood and figuring out and supporting others to get what they want, exploring the implications and indicators, then maybe the 2-year old tantrums were easier to interpret than I thought at the time! And it starts with me… So right now what I want is to share these thoughts with you to hopefully spark a challenge, a reflection, an idea that helps you get what you want in a moment in your day. Good luck!
Andrew Bidnell is a professional certified coach and an experienced consultant who founded InsideOut Consulting in 2006. The focus is on leadership and communication and, in particular, the challenge of engagement – of self and of others – to achieve maximum impact and fulfillment. He has worked internationally with 1,000+ leaders in the public, private and not-for-profit sectors, always seeking to facilitate, challenge, support and unlock potential that lies inside an individual, a community, an organisation, and bring that strength, passion and knowledge out for maximum impact.